Tribute to my brother

Michael Mobbs



There are very many reasons why it is hard to write a eulogy for someone without becoming immersed in the grief that surrounds their loss – and particularly difficult to do this for a brother. However, the purpose of a eulogy is to celebrate the life of an individual and to take pleasure in what they achieved, what they stood for, and the joy and happiness they provided to their friends, work colleagues and relatives. In Mike’s case it is almost impossible to do this within the short time available but I will do my best and I hope I am able to convey to you my sense of this wonderful man. I have to say how typical it was of him to have had the foresight to write a short history of the first few years of his life and to do this very recently. Doubtless even in the depths of his illness he knew that being six years younger than him I would find this a very difficult period to cover.

Mike was born in St. Mary's Hospital in Paddington, London, on the 7th of October 1946, the first son of our parents; John, an architectural draughtsman, and his wife, Joan who worked as a shop assistant in Boots the Chemist. My parents lived in a rented flat in Bayswater and Mike went to school at Fox’s Primary in Notting Hill Gate, travelling there every day by bus. Weekends were taken up playing cricket with friends, sailing a wooden boat with Dad on the Round Pond in Kensington Gardens and watching the steam trains with him at Paddington. His memories of that time reflect a happy life within a family rejoicing survival of the war. The only low points seems to have been the sinking and irretrievable loss of the little boat on the Round Pond and, for someone who I recall as less than adventurous where eating was concerned, the appalling food on offer at school.

After I was born, the family moved in 1954 to a slightly more rural setting; a council house - 62, Humber Avenue in Aveley in Essex. At the bottom of the road was some woodland beyond that, sand quarries with large expanses of clear water. I think this period in Mike’s life was likely to have been particularly formative – while Dad began on a life-long pursuit of gardening, Mike embarked on what was to become a similar and life-long passion for nature. In the gravel pits he saw his first newts and lizards. The nearby Belhus Woods Country Park was full of chestnut trees and in the open areas thistles and wild flowers were a magnet for butterflies; small tortoiseshells and peacocks. In the short account Mike wrote of the early days of his life, he describes how one day he saw a peacock butterfly land on a thistle and from that day on was ‘hooked’ on butterflies – this was a love he transmitted to me and many others. The landscape around the house in Humber Road was not without its hazards and Mike recalls that although told to go nowhere near the lakes, egged on by other boys, he paddled in the water and fell in. I have no idea whether at that time he could swim or not but I imagine in the cold and deep water of a gravel pit this could have been a life-threatening accident. I suspect that my father in his fear for Mike’s safety might well have had some harsh words to say about this. However, Mum, as was typical for her, was determined on a cover-up, dried him and changed his clothes and I am not sure our father ever knew of the event. Such was Dad’s concern for the safety of his son that he wouldn’t let him have a bicycle though that didn’t deter Mike from learning to cycle on a friend’s bike that was much too large for him – he recalls pushing down one pedal and catching the other with his foot as it came within reach. Ironically, the only serious bike accident he had was on the tricycle Dad bought for him and from which Mike fell and broke his front tooth!

In 1955, with Dad now running his own and successful business the family moved to Box Cottage in Great Kimble, Buckinghamshire where our sister Jeannie was born. This was the first house the family owned rather than rented. Mike if not immediately delighted, must have been so later on. The suburban landscape of Ockenden was abandoned for countryside of the Chilterns - a landscape he loved for its beauty and wildlife and for the deep and long-lasting friendships he formed within its community. Our mother taught Sunday school in the church, and Dad when he wasn’t working went on with the gardening and transformation of the house. Mike went to the school in the village; he enjoyed his school work, did well, and was a “model” pupil. He had plenty of friends in the village – the Hardings, Devas’s, Liz Ashley and others. In particular, he spent a lot of time with Rob at the “Red House”.
In 1957, aged 10, Mike entered the Royal Grammar School at Wycombe. It was here that he came to love both playing and watching Rugby – incongruous though it seems given his gentle nature, as a player at school he particularly enjoyed tackling. He was a reluctant member of the school’s Cadet Force and was part of the ‘Signals Group’, but what he really enjoyed was writing poetry and playing chess with friends such as Neil Saunders. Mike was a scholar and he got very good GCEs and A-levels and obtained an “Exhibition” - a financial award on the basis of merit - to go up to Cambridge. He spent three happy years there as a member of Sidney Sussex College studying Modern Languages. At university he enjoyed taking part in football & rowing and made many lasting friendships. Peter Field recalls a trip he made with Mike and another linguist through Spain and France in which the two Cambridge language students searched the map in vain for a town called Francia which appeared to lie between Figueres and Perpignan and that had to be important because its name was printed in bold - only to realise when they arrived at the border that Francia is France - a rare and amusing slip for Mike was in fact a very able linguist! Mostly his close Cambridge friends remember Mike for his ability to silence a room with his guitar playing and for the way he spoke calmly, quietly, with authority, and persuasively, even as others became heated in argument. They recall Mike as a listener and a friend upon whom you could always rely for sound counsel. His wise counsel is something I and my sister have often benefitted from – a moral compass when others lost their bearings. Mike graduated in 1968 and his proud parents travelled to Cambridge for the Graduation Ceremony. This was a rare outing for Mum and Dad as they then lived in Sussex and seldom travelled far from home.
It was while at Sidney Sussex that Mike met Brenda who was at a nearby Teacher Training College. They married in August 1969 and spent all their married life in Bucks. Mike was a loving and supportive husband throughout more than 39 years. Mike and Brenda each pursued their own careers but always made plenty of time to go walking together, visit friends and travel. Together they spent much time in Europe, and visited Canada, the USA and memorably in 2004 went to New Zealand with friends Sue & Paolo.

After graduating from Cambridge Mike started work at the Midland Bank in High Wycombe as a graduate trainee and progressed quickly through the ranks. Mike was an excellent employee and worked in a number of Midland Bank’s departments and in different locations – he was for a time my bank manager. As ever, his intelligence, wit and charm meant he made many friends at work - even in difficult circumstances. He was for a short while seconded to the Citizen’s Advice Bureau Head Office in London. The staff at the CAB were suspicious at the arrival of a banker to advise them on setting up a Debt Management process. Indeed, he arrived there on the first day to find his desk in the corridor but Mike’s easy manner soon allayed their fears and he became a full member of the team.

In 1994 Mike was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukaemia and knowing that his illness would cause him problems, in January 1997 he took early retirement from the bank.

He always said that retiring was the best thing he ever did. It gave him time to pursue his love of chess, nature, and scholarship and to spend more time with Brenda, friends and family. He was a member of Butterfly Conservation and completed butterfly counts for his area that formed part of the data for the Butterfly Atlas for the Millennium. Mike was an excellent chess player - he had played for his college and later on for Wycombe Chess club, playing competitively until a couple of years ago. He learned to play golf when he was young and was a member of Hazlemere Golf Club and in retirement played regularly with various groups at the Club. Mike was a natural scholar and in retirement did courses with the Open University, and although his health meant he was unable to complete a degree, he said that wasn’t important since he just enjoyed the process of studying. He was an active member of the Belgium Study Circle and enjoyed contributing to the group’s displays and study weekends. Latterly, he produced three catalogues for Commemorative Vignettes which have proved very popular and have sold to enthusiasts in several countries. He loved all sorts of music from folk to classical. He played the guitar by ear and often composed short pieces of music.

Mike loved being with all of his family and enjoyed the company of his brother and sister, aunts, cousins, nieces and nephews and was always interested in what other people were doing. He had a ready smile, was always optimistic, cheerful and full of fun. He was a truly a lovely man and will be greatly missed by all those who were privileged to have known him.